My life experiences, my education and my way-of-being with others have each molded me and have given me the skills, personality, and temperament to be a great therapist. I grew up in a large family–the middle of my parent’s seven children. One might think that experience alone may have been all I needed to encourage me to AVOID becoming a therapist! Nope. In fact, it seemed to point me in that direction. For good or ill, my parents called me the peacemaker of the family. After spending some time in my ancestral home in England and finishing my undergraduate degree in Family Sciences (and minors in psychology, Sociology and Hebrew/Near-eastern studies), in 1981, I spend 6 month in Israel and Egypt studying the culture, politic (conflict) and people of the area. I soon enrolled in Brigham Young University’s Family Life Education Master’s Program. Soon after that I began another master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy at Loma Linda University. Over the next 15 years I worked as a wilderness therapist (working with adolescent boys and girls and their parents). Within that 15-year span, I spent six-year completing a Ph.D. in Philosophical and Theoretical Psychology back at Brigham Young University. I don’t recommend attending three graduate schools back-to-back while expecting your first four children. That would not be called a balanced life, something I still struggle with. Needless to say, after 10.5 years of graduate work, five children, and thirty-six years of marriage, I have come to embrace a philosophy of life balance –I know, right?! It only took half my life! That notwithstanding, over the course of the 30 something years, I’ve been in practice, I am truly honor to work with the open, honest and vulnerable clients and experience their fortitude and willing to identify and pursue the challenge of personal growth and in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds to obtain the life they want. I believe that we grow and learn some of life’s greatest lessons in the company of the Other (usually family). It is deeply within this core philosophy that my practice is established. I believe we gain many of our strengths and weaknesses from previous generations and it is our job glean the best and pass it on to the next generation. 

I am fortunate to have inherited some of the positive traits of my ancestors. My great-great-great grandfather immigrated to the United States from the then small town of Bath, England, named for the Roman bathes built from the natural hot springs in the 60-70AD century (that’s a long time ago). As a young man, he carved out a life for his struggling family learning the art of a cobbler from his father (shoe/boot making). Soon he was married and migrated to America, taking a ship to New Orleans. He developed a reputation as the finest shoemaker. It was said he made the “best finished, finest, and most durable looking pair of boots we have ever seen in this country – or, we may say, elsewhere.” He was the winner for the Best Gentleman’s fine boots ($5) and Best Ladies fine boots and Best Gentleman’s fine shoes ($1). Leaving a comfortable and predictable life, striking out on their own was a great challenges and opportunity for him and his wife. I believe my great great great grandfather’s strength and ability to be a pioneer, leaving the comfortable life behind and venture to new land with his wife, and forge a new path with new possibilities, adapt and thrive despite significant hardship came from overcoming the challenges presented by perfecting his trade. With his perseverance and drive, he eventually built a life for himself and his family among the hills of northern Pasadena, California that was humble, balanced, and stable. He and his wife left his beautiful, familiar homeland because it wasn’t enough. Many British men and women were left in desperate misery due to high taxes, skyrocketing food prices, unemployment caused by wartime trade restrictions. The person he was, the life he knew, was no longer sufficient to sustain peace, happiness and health for him and his family. I imagine it was gut-wrenchingly hard for him.

Perhaps many of us get into therapy because we feel similarly. We know when something is not enough–isn’t quite right, but we don’t know what the future holds. It can feel terrifying at times to contemplate getting help or making needed changes. Sometimes it is the hardships and pain that cause us to take the necessary action to make life better. I carry forward a legacy of resilience, hard work, dedication and tenacity to personal growth, in part because of my beliefs, values, and experiences and in part, due to the examples of my ancestors, my family of origin, and my wife and children. I understand the importance of ambition and drive, and also the value of relationships to help us on our journey toward the life we want. When our efforts are based on principles of authenticity, vulnerability, and intimacy with ourselves and others, we have much of what we need to achieve that goal. Life’s mountains require strength of character, courage, tenacity, and a great deal of work to conquer. It is my honor to walk with you on your journey.